The Nervous System Is in the Room: Facilitation That Moves With the Body
Written By Kirsten Harris-Talley and Teddy McGlynn-Wright of In The Works, Edited by Sylvia G. Hadnot of Has Everything & Co.
As facilitators, we’re taught to track energy, emotions, and body language. But, what if we zoomed out and recognized that underneath it all, we are tracking nervous system states?
Our nervous systems are our body’s first responder. Their job is not to think critically or assess nuance—it’s to scan for threat and keep us alive. That means it’s constantly assessing the room, the tone of voice, the seating chart, the stories being told, the people who speak first and loudest. It’s taking notes. Whether we are consciously aware of it or not.
In facilitation, we cannot afford to ignore this. The nervous system is not just present—it is active, intelligent, and shaping the experience for every participant. As individuals and the group as a whole.
Nervous Systems Are Predictable, Yet (Un)Logical
Our nervous systems don’t wait for cognitive clarity to give us needed information. Our bodies are finely attuned antennas - perceiving, processing, and responding in real-time. No thinking necessary, because it moves faster than thought. We predict based on past experience and present cues. That’s why we can feel triggered in a space that seems “objectively” calm—because their body has detected a familiar pattern of harm. We don’t decide to feel unsafe.
As facilitators, it is essential we have to understand the nervous system and intersections at three levels simultaneously - our own systems as facilitators, the experience of individuals in the group, and the experience of the group as a whole as the energy is shared. Our body tells us and we have a choice as to what is next from the experience our nervous system communicates. Our feelings and emotions are present and show up whether we’re ready for them or not. We can either ignore them and lose access to key data or group dynamics… or we can move with them and unlock deeper possibilities and connection.
Ease Is Not the Same As Comfort, Comfort is Not the same as Safety
To “facilitate” means to make easier—but not necessarily to make easy. Nervous system-forward facilitation is about creating the conditions for people to stay present with discomfort, while staying safe in the process. Learning happens when we are introduced to new things that open up possibilities. And that newness can be uncomfortable. But safety can be present, even when we are uncomfortable. So the balance of that is necessary for a nervous system-forward space building. That might look like naming tension in the room, pausing a planned activity to check in, or shifting physical space to reduce unspoken threat (yes, even the artwork in a room can matter).
In this approach, ease means creating enough nervous-system-regulation in the space that people can feel, think, and relate to each other—even when the material is activating, as change so often is. Remember, nervous systems prefer predictability to novelty, so change itself is an activating nervous system experience. New strategies create new sensations (feelings), emotions, and neural pathways, and change is rarely, if ever linear.::
“We change in a back and forth—doing the new thing, then the old thing again, then the new thing more—until a new habit forms.”
— Kirsten, In The Works
Our nervous systems interpret change through sensation before we ever assign a story to it. The conditions and contexts that we grow up within shape our experiences, which shape what our nervous systems come to expect. The sensations that come with change — rising heartbeat, butterflies in the stomach, hollowness, — need space, validation, and interpretation not pressure to resolve quickly. When we allow groups to move at “the speed of trust,” we’re not just haphazardly slowing things down—we’re building sustainable, accessible, and lasting change together.
Foundations of Nervous System-Forward Space Design
Safety – This space is not a threat to folks’ being or identity.
Agency – Participants have choice and voice.
Dignity – Those in attendance will be respected in their full humanity.
Belonging – We are not alone here. We are recognized.
When all of these are present together, it creates a space that allows people to take risks, make mistakes, and share ideas without fear of rejection or punishment. It’s not just an emotional state—it’s a nervous system cue that says: you can show up fully and belong here. Check out our previous post titled Wholeness & Wellness for a refresh on safety, agency, dignity and belonging.
Designing for these doesn’t require fancy tools, handouts, or materials. It requires attention and intention. As well as a willingness to change our facilitation approach is the group needs something new to come back to safety. Consider how names are used, how conflict is handled, how decision-making is built into the room. These are all cues to the nervous system. And when the nervous system feels held, the people in the room can show up more fully.
Co-Regulation is Essential for Co-Leadership
Co-leadership shows up in co-facilitation and requires connection and reflection between the facilitators. That vulnerability helps us build the give and take we will need to respond to the nervous system of the groups when one or more facilitators find ourselves dysregulated. Facilitation isn’t just about task-sharing, it is also about supporting our whole selves and the emotions we feel as we hold the group. Our nervous systems support us as we support the group - and we have to tend to ourselves as well. It’s about shared regulation, shared presence, and the ability to respond to what’s unfolding in the room—together.
When facilitators are attuned to nervous system dynamics, they can adapt with more wisdom, more ease, and more care. And in turn, they create spaces where groups can adapt, too. And they as facilitators can meet the group whole, centered, and clear.
In a world that often demands speed, performance, and certainty, this kind of practice is radical. It says: We are human. Our bodies are here. And they know something important about what’s needed.
Inspiration for Implementation: Nervous System Awareness in Your Facilitation Practice
✅ Start Today
Scan the Room with the Nervous System in Mind
Before your next session or meeting, take a few quiet minutes to notice the environment. What might feel safe or unsafe to someone walking in for the first time? What visual, auditory, or spatial cues could you shift? How can you create a space / place for rest when folks need to recenter?Ask Yourself: “What are the conditions for ease?”
Before introducing content or pushing for productivity, check: does this group have enough safety, agency, dignity, and belonging to show up fully right now? What do they need to get there?Normalize Pause
Pauses invite presence: Even building in a 10 second pause between speakers can give nervous systems time to digest what’s been offered.
🌀 Build Over Time
Integrate Embodied Language into Your Group Agreements
Invite participants to co-create how they’d like to feel and act while together. Then they can create practices for how to handle dysregulation when it arrives.Track Your Group’s Somatic Patterns
Begin noticing group-level cues: body posture, voice tone, collective energy shifts, engagement /non-engagement. These are clues to how the group’s nervous system is responding.
Practice What You Preach
Develop your own daily or weekly rituals. What helps you recognize when you are dysregulated and return to center? Remember: you can’t co-regulate a room if you’re disconnected from yourself.