All groups are unique.
They're unique in makeup. They're unique in why they come together as a group. They're unique in what they are trying to move forward or toward as a group. And yet, because humans are herd animals and because herds are a very particular type of group, there are stages and ways all groups move even in their uniqueness.
Recognizing what stage we are in and what can surface in that stage, is helpful for setting expectations. It can help with anticipating when conflicts might surface or subside and generally provide context to what we are individually experiencing within a group. In Belonging Based Facilitation, we use a group formation model first published by Bruce Tuckman in 1965. It has since been iterated, developed, revised and contested by various practitioners and facilitators. Like any other tool, it has its limitations, and we still find it incredibly useful. Tuckman’s tool reinforces our claim that anytime a group changes composition - whenever someone joins or leaves a group - it is a new group. From inception to conclusion, through disruption and change, groups move through these different stages and the expectations that come with them. Tuckman’s framework helps to make sense of the behaviors we see in groups as they travel through different stages. Using the framework is like having a forecast - the forecast doesn’t perfectly represent or create the weather, but it certainly helps you prepare.
Forming
We sometimes call this the warming stage. Think about stretching before a run, vocal warmups before a concert, or warming up a cast iron pan before cooking on it. In this stage we bring our most acceptable self. This is when people are at their most polite and can be called the ‘honeymoon’ period because it can have all that new relationship energy. The central question in this stage is what are we doing here? As Belonging-based facilitators we focus on each component of this: who is the we? What is the thing this group is doing? where is here? And how did we all get here?
Storming
There are so many different ways to storm! Some groups storm loudly and with lots of energy, other groups move through this stage like a fog or persistent drizzle. However we enter this stage or move through it the central element of this stage is that it is where conflict enters the chat. Sometimes, there will be disagreement, and other times, there may be trauma present, but all the times, these ruptures take place in the body of the group, not just in the bodies of individuals.
Central to this stage is the question: who do I get to be in this group? OR How authentic can I be in this group? As facilitators, we look at how the group tends to the conflicts that emerge in this stage: do they move at them directly? Or does the group avoid or ignore the conflicts and tensions arising? However the group does or does not deal with the conflicts during this phase sets the stage for how the group will work together moving forward.
Groups that engage actively and generatively in conflicts find greater authenticity and flexibility at the next stage, whereas groups that avoid or suppress conflict find a kind of ungrounded comfort. This is when it is crucial to be trauma-informed. In groups with a rich trauma history, people may experience conflict as an existential threat, triggering threat responses (like fight or flight). Our role then is to help the group turn toward the conflict (or threat) with clarity, compassion and creativity.
Norming
Whatever we practice, we make permanent. This stage follows the storming phase specifically because it is the cementing of how the group moves together. Norms are the implicit ways that a group behaves. These implicit, cultural behaviors are most obvious when moving from one (group) culture to another. For instance, when my family relocated from the Pacific Northwest to the South, we had to teach our children to address adult Black people as Ms. Mr. or Mx., not by their first name! 😬
In the norming stage, individuals, grapple with how to behave together on this journey. As a group, folks are noticing what kinds of leadership emerge in the group and how they distribute the crucial work of the group: specifically how does the group take care of safety, agency, dignity, and belonging? As facilitators we may posit this directly or indirectly. Noticing how a group makes decisions, for instance, gives us great insights into the individual and collective agency of the group.
Performing
This is the sweet spot for groups when the norms that have been established in the prior stage really work for the group. Decision-making and distribution of labor is equitable and meaningful; conflict is met with curiosity and creativity; and the group may begin to have a sense of its own ‘mortality,’ recognizing that it may not continue forever in this iteration even if it wants to. This is the stage where the individual authenticity of each group member gets to shine- when each individual fits together like a puzzle. Or an orchestra in which there may be a strings section with several violins, but none is any less important than the other and anyone that doesn’t play (or doesn’t play their best) makes the sound/music the less well off for it.
Adjourning / Changing
That’s a wrap! Adjourning is when a group comes to the end, and folks must accept that “this group as it is composed, will never exist again.” Similar to the storming stage, if the group has accumulated untended trauma, the end of the group can feel more like a threat than a natural part of all living systems.
Individuals tend to want to know: what happens next? Who am I without this group? Sometimes we say that how a group ends meetings is how it meets endings. Is there a pause, gratitude, and time to shift? Or is it a rush off to the next thing? Individually we describe some people as lingerers (staying until and often past the ‘end’) and others as absconders (leaving before the ending can really arrive). We bring intention to this part of the process by asking groups we facilitate: what is a good goodbye? There are some similarities and idiosyncrasies for different groups and individuals, but are gratitude, a recognition that the end is here, and some tender words or touch come up consistently.
Reflection
In the next few weeks, reflect on the groups you’re a part of - whether that be family, friends or colleagues. How do you notice the stages of groups showing up?